future

Blank Canvas

A plain canvas – naïve and blank
Open to the brutal assault of colours and textures, yet to come
Longing to be drenched – in your dreams and nightmares.

Undented and painfully happy,
Waiting to answer the call of your whims.
Smiling through my bruises, I was
as you lashed out with your violets and reds.

Scrapes and tears began to show,
on my calm façade –
I began soaking in your fantasies and fears,
your gashes– crude blacks and angry yellows.

As you gloated over your creation and basked in its glory,
Wild thoughts dragged crazily all over me
– shades of blue, deeper possible?

A canvas in my right no more,
me – a distraught reflection of your anger and smallness
A jumbled mess of colours and patterns,
Oh! There was no undoing this mess now.

As my tears rained through your creation
your anger came at me – pokes and angry strokes.
Pouring brighter hues of reds and oranges
To keep my wounds from showing.

You eyed the pot of an impassioned mix, to cover the last white spot
And I took one last breath in –
wondering if the creation of your masterpiece,
always meant the end of my existence.

Stranger

We met some time ago – courtesy a common friend. Would you call that a meeting?  Inconsequential anyway – I did not remember what you were like a few hours later and you probably did not even notice my existence. But there was a spark – an instant connection.

I took the chance meeting in my stride and carried on – busy with everyday.  I noticed you here and there, but thought nothing of it. An occasional hello was plenty – not like there was anything more to it. But days passed and we met more often. Suddenly every corner I turned, I saw you – or something that reminded me of you.  Were you this ‘present’ in my life always or were you making subtle changes to your life – to include me? Questions I wanted to ask but never did, for the fear of appearing too needy.  Consciously I ignored your presence and moved on like nothing had changed. After all where could this lead? I stood my ground firmly – you followed me around.

I did not give in – You did not give up.

Within the matter of a few days, the tide turned. Appearing as un-interested as possible, I waited impatiently to hear from you – to meet you again. You did too – but you were more vocal about it.

We met each other more often and spent more time together. I told you much more about myself than I had ever told anyone else.  Could I trust you with so many stories – stories from my past, dreams for my future? You promised to stand with me through ups and downs – bore witness to my absurd thought threads.

How well did I know you?

I grew to like you – for your simplicity, your conviction, and your looks – None of these overdone.
You confided in me too – things no one else knew about you. We talked for hours on end about a zillion issues –  issues of no relevance to you or me – but talk we did.

Was it wrong to assume that you grew a fondness for me too?

And then it happened.
Cracks appeared in our ever so perfect relationship!

You hated the dependency but did not know what to do when left alone. As much as I enjoyed being with you and could not stay away, I had to find time for other activities. Insecurities crept in. I could no longer count on you when I needed you the most and you made clear your unhappiness about the situation. I longed for simpler times. Wanted to wind the clock back to when we had just met – to relive those moments – may be take a different route this time around.

But it was not meant to be. We were not meant to be.